I'm tired. 'Nuff said.
School is wearing me out really bad, and not just because it's busy, but because I know I'm doing well, so I'm trying very hard to stay motivated to keep doing well. My to-do list is never ending. At times like these, I like to pull out my parent's copy of "Don't Sweat The Small Stuff" by Dr. Richard Carlson and repeat chapter six over and over to myself. "When I die, my "in-basket" won't be empty". The unfortunate thing is that I am nowhere ready to die, and so I still worry that I don't have time to be doing all the things that I should be doing with the life that I have to live.
I'm trying very hard to not make excuses for myself, and to go to my Beyond U placement. But as I've mentioned to a few of you readers, I am very upset with the the lack of communication! I know that I need to have some understanding towards the situation. Beyond U is a pilot program, and as such, it will hit bumps. But at the same time, I think I'm using it as an excuse to stay as far away as I can from the Working Center.
However, I know that I will do my very best to come in tomorrow (which is really today... but I haven't slept yet, so I'm going to count it as tomorrow) with a positive attitude, and with my heart in the right place. I really hope it works out this time!
Keeping you posted!
P.S. ... I looked up how to make homemade soaps. My blessings to the man who created this site http://www.millersoap.com/. What creativity and knowledge! Thank you for sharing!
Thursday, February 26, 2009
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Teach, Learn, Teach, Learn, Teach, Learn, SLEEP!
I often forget how easily I can get worn out. And there's nothing like an eraser launched off the end of a yellow ruler smacking you in the side of the face to remind you of it.
On top of all the other commitments that manage to creep their way into my little green date book, I volunteer in a local high school twice a week and in an elementary school once a week. It's a completely rewarding experience. I work with kids from SK - Grade 10 in a range of learning activities, including those with behavioural issues, those who need one-on-one attention, and children with learning disabilities. You learn A LOT about life from talking to these brilliant young people, but trying to learn life lessons and teach standardized material at the same time is exhausting!
Luckily, only the really observant kids notice the dark, baggy circles under your eyes, the toothpaste stain on your shirt, and the fact that you haven't worn enough makeup to make you "look like an adult".
My hope is simply that when I wake up tomorrow morning, I'll be able to get through my day without looking like the Bride of Frankenstein. Otherwise I may have to endure those highschool taunts all over again.
Sweet Dreams!!
On top of all the other commitments that manage to creep their way into my little green date book, I volunteer in a local high school twice a week and in an elementary school once a week. It's a completely rewarding experience. I work with kids from SK - Grade 10 in a range of learning activities, including those with behavioural issues, those who need one-on-one attention, and children with learning disabilities. You learn A LOT about life from talking to these brilliant young people, but trying to learn life lessons and teach standardized material at the same time is exhausting!
Luckily, only the really observant kids notice the dark, baggy circles under your eyes, the toothpaste stain on your shirt, and the fact that you haven't worn enough makeup to make you "look like an adult".
My hope is simply that when I wake up tomorrow morning, I'll be able to get through my day without looking like the Bride of Frankenstein. Otherwise I may have to endure those highschool taunts all over again.
Sweet Dreams!!
Friday, February 13, 2009
False Alarm
I arrived 20 minutes early, according to the clock that was hanging in the back corner of the ArtSpace. I paced the room for a bit, looked at all the herbs and the teas, and the homemade soaps. Then I got scared because I forgot to read up on how to make homemade soaps...
So I sat down and I waited. 10 minutes to. I rummaged through my bag, looking for nothing. 5 minutes to. Where was everyone? Did I have to work one-on-one with Misha? She would find out EXACTLY how little I actually know about everything. I was hoping I would just blend in!
2:00. Was I supposed to meet her downstairs maybe? I have no idea how this works. 5 minutes after, I hear girly voices entering the room. A wave of relief, "Here they come!" I thought.
Instead a tour-guide turns the corner, "This is the ArtSpace. Misha usually works here but she's not here today". Her gaze lands right on me. She gives me a puzzled stare. "Are you waiting for Misha?"
I nodded. "I'm volunteering every Friday, 2-5". At least I'm supposed to. Did Misha not know? Did I come at the wrong time?
"Well Misha's not here. You'll have to come back next week."
I was angry at first. No one e-mailed me or called me or anything. I had built up this huge rush of adrenaline for THIS?! I even learned to knit! Can you believe it?
Walking back out to catch a bus, feeling thoroughly ripped off from a possibly awesome experience I started to laugh. I had just been complaining and worrying about not being good enough, and now I was made because I didn't even get to show off all of the knowledge that I don't have. How pointless for me to be angry!
I'll go back next week. It's getting off to a shaky start, but I think in the end it'll all be worth it.
So I sat down and I waited. 10 minutes to. I rummaged through my bag, looking for nothing. 5 minutes to. Where was everyone? Did I have to work one-on-one with Misha? She would find out EXACTLY how little I actually know about everything. I was hoping I would just blend in!
2:00. Was I supposed to meet her downstairs maybe? I have no idea how this works. 5 minutes after, I hear girly voices entering the room. A wave of relief, "Here they come!" I thought.
Instead a tour-guide turns the corner, "This is the ArtSpace. Misha usually works here but she's not here today". Her gaze lands right on me. She gives me a puzzled stare. "Are you waiting for Misha?"
I nodded. "I'm volunteering every Friday, 2-5". At least I'm supposed to. Did Misha not know? Did I come at the wrong time?
"Well Misha's not here. You'll have to come back next week."
I was angry at first. No one e-mailed me or called me or anything. I had built up this huge rush of adrenaline for THIS?! I even learned to knit! Can you believe it?
Walking back out to catch a bus, feeling thoroughly ripped off from a possibly awesome experience I started to laugh. I had just been complaining and worrying about not being good enough, and now I was made because I didn't even get to show off all of the knowledge that I don't have. How pointless for me to be angry!
I'll go back next week. It's getting off to a shaky start, but I think in the end it'll all be worth it.
Thursday, February 12, 2009
Beyond U Placement
My Beyond U placements starts tomorrow. It's all I can think about. I'll be working with Misha in the Arts Space.
I'm a lot more nervous than I ever thought I would be. It's funny because when I started this program, I thought for sure that I would want to do something that would challenge me to step out of my comfort zone. But I'm starting to panic now. I have no idea what I'm doing!
In the past two weeks I've taken up cross-stitch, herbalism, and knitting (I already crochet, I've been doing that for years!) in a desperate attempt to suddenly be fluent in the language of creativity. I've read every possible thing online about how to make paper, and all the different ways that you can recycle junk into really cool stuff. My favorite was this barbie wreath http://www.instructables.com/id/Barbie_Wreath/ . How cool, eh?
Really I know that nothing can prepare me for walking into the Arts Space tomorrow at 2. I just hope that Misha will be patient with me while I desperately struggle through the whole thing.
No worries. Right?
I'm a lot more nervous than I ever thought I would be. It's funny because when I started this program, I thought for sure that I would want to do something that would challenge me to step out of my comfort zone. But I'm starting to panic now. I have no idea what I'm doing!
In the past two weeks I've taken up cross-stitch, herbalism, and knitting (I already crochet, I've been doing that for years!) in a desperate attempt to suddenly be fluent in the language of creativity. I've read every possible thing online about how to make paper, and all the different ways that you can recycle junk into really cool stuff. My favorite was this barbie wreath http://www.instructables.com/id/Barbie_Wreath/ . How cool, eh?
Really I know that nothing can prepare me for walking into the Arts Space tomorrow at 2. I just hope that Misha will be patient with me while I desperately struggle through the whole thing.
No worries. Right?
My Introduction to Beyond U
“Six months from now I’ll be paralyzed.”
I looked up from my book, right into the ice blue eyes of the man standing in front of me. There was no doubt that he was speaking to me, but I had no idea why.
“Oh. I’m sorry to hear that.” What else do you say?
He shrugged, “They just keep giving me painkillers. Won’t help much when I can walk, or get around on my own though, will it?”
I shook my head. The man turned and walked away from me, head held high as he braced himself against the door before walking out into the cold.
Everyone needs a bit of a wake up call. A startling jolt of reality to bring them back from a world where nothing goes drastically wrong. I got mine sitting in The Working Center, waiting for my colleagues. And unlike what other people might claim, my wake up call was not a sudden realization that there are social injustices in the world. I have been well aware my entire life that there are starving children in third world countries and homeless people on the streets. The realization I came to was that every one of the people that walked through the doors of The Working Center had a story. And while the business-people and the shopkeepers snubbed them on King St., categorizing them as homeless, or poor, or “slow”, they were dying to tell their story to anyone willing to listen.
I’ll admit I’ve never been a really good listener. I drift in and out of conversations, and I would rather voice my own opinion than listen to someone else’s. But the Working Center is all about communication and interaction. It breaks you out of your comfort zone, and places you in a situation where you need to learn in order to make the interaction work. Whether you are making homemade paper and herbal teas or taking apart computers and bikes to recycle, you need to learn how to communicate and listen effectively. It’s all about discovering yourself, and understanding more about the people that you are working with.
As a student participating in the pilot program for Beyond U, I’m required to tell you about my experiences at the Working Center through blog entries on the SJU website. But the more I sit in The Queen Streets Common Café, the less I want to tell you about my experiences, and the more I want to tell the stories that I hear, and learn though during my time spent there.
I want to be able to show you that making a difference doesn’t mean giving up your precious time to sweat over food served to the homeless. It doesn’t even mean that you have to work at all. Sometimes, you just need to sit, and wait for someone to come to you with the story they are dying to share.
I looked up from my book, right into the ice blue eyes of the man standing in front of me. There was no doubt that he was speaking to me, but I had no idea why.
“Oh. I’m sorry to hear that.” What else do you say?
He shrugged, “They just keep giving me painkillers. Won’t help much when I can walk, or get around on my own though, will it?”
I shook my head. The man turned and walked away from me, head held high as he braced himself against the door before walking out into the cold.
Everyone needs a bit of a wake up call. A startling jolt of reality to bring them back from a world where nothing goes drastically wrong. I got mine sitting in The Working Center, waiting for my colleagues. And unlike what other people might claim, my wake up call was not a sudden realization that there are social injustices in the world. I have been well aware my entire life that there are starving children in third world countries and homeless people on the streets. The realization I came to was that every one of the people that walked through the doors of The Working Center had a story. And while the business-people and the shopkeepers snubbed them on King St., categorizing them as homeless, or poor, or “slow”, they were dying to tell their story to anyone willing to listen.
I’ll admit I’ve never been a really good listener. I drift in and out of conversations, and I would rather voice my own opinion than listen to someone else’s. But the Working Center is all about communication and interaction. It breaks you out of your comfort zone, and places you in a situation where you need to learn in order to make the interaction work. Whether you are making homemade paper and herbal teas or taking apart computers and bikes to recycle, you need to learn how to communicate and listen effectively. It’s all about discovering yourself, and understanding more about the people that you are working with.
As a student participating in the pilot program for Beyond U, I’m required to tell you about my experiences at the Working Center through blog entries on the SJU website. But the more I sit in The Queen Streets Common Café, the less I want to tell you about my experiences, and the more I want to tell the stories that I hear, and learn though during my time spent there.
I want to be able to show you that making a difference doesn’t mean giving up your precious time to sweat over food served to the homeless. It doesn’t even mean that you have to work at all. Sometimes, you just need to sit, and wait for someone to come to you with the story they are dying to share.
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